Fighting Between Denominations is Stupid Part III - The real motive

 It really feels like simple Tribalism would cover it, doesn't it?  I mean, people will really show their nasty side over things as minor as whether or not the Star Wars prequels were any good.  I once even saw a website, many years ago, in which a guy was arguing that Star Wars was better than Star Trek and basically said the most disparaging, nasty and ugly things directed toward anyone who disagreed.

Can you imagine?  Doesn't really feel like tribalism alone explains it adequately, does it?

That's why I think there's another reason people act this way: validation.  Very often people gain a feeling of assurance and security with their views when among others who share them.  That's understandable, of course, but taken further, it becomes pretty unhealthy.  Imagine seeking validation not only by being around like-minded people but also needing it from destroying people with other views in some kind of debate-turned-argument?  That feeling of "My beliefs MUST be right because I won that debate!  Go me!"  Imagine the holy grail of validation getting someone to not only lose the argument but admit defeat and come over to your side?

I really think that's what people want.  They have weaknesses in their own faith or the certainty of their belief and they're trying to cement it by aggressively pushing it onto others.  It's really sick when you think about it.  People with weak faith looking to prey upon others whose faith might also be shaky, all so they can feel better about their own selves?

So when I see someone attacking the faith of someone else, that's the first thing that comes to my mind.  I think to myself "Here's someone whose faith has a weakness at its core."  

What makes me so certain of that?  Well, because I've noticed that people who really are strong in their faith don't feel so defensive about it.  They don't feel the need to engage in arguments with people.  They believe what they believe and are comfortable enough with it that they don't need to take up arms every opportunity they get.  There's a quiet confidence about them that I admire and want to emulate.

Then again, I'm a Gen-X guy.  Maybe "Live and let live" is just a dying philosophy.

But honestly... Have you ever seen it actually work?  Have you ever seen someone get argued into converting to anything?  I have never seen that happen.  Not one time in my entire life.  That isn't how humans work.  

Think about all the times you've had a difference of opinion or belief, and had someone try to argue you into changing your mind.  Especially think about the times when it got nasty.  Do you ever remember feeling like the person you were arguing with was right to be so nasty and it convinced you that they were correct all along?

Yeah, neither do I.

In the next part, we start getting specific.